4/5 ★ – DarrensTrashBag's review of The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks.

I am on the ropes on how I should rate this game because at times it is incredible and at times it is the most infuriating garbage imaginable. Firstly I really like the train mechanics, even if it moves a bit slow, I love this world created. It is insane that this is being played on a DS. The dungeons were, like Phantom Hourglass, fantastic. I only actually didn't like one of them that much. The Tower of Spirits wasn't as bad as Temple of the Ocean King. There was a bit more charm and intrigue within the story cutscenes in Phantom Hourglass but I still liked the chemistry between Link and Zelda. The Ost is incredible and has some of my favorite songs in the series. Now the bad parts comes from Nintendo being too ambitious with the open world and forgot to make actual side content. This was also a problem with Phantom Hourglass that it didn't have engaging side quests. Most side quests in this game is just Death Stranding or you escort someone. But there are some gems in this game like the Pirate's Hideout. Like I said, I enjoy the train mechanics, however making the dark trains one-hit you no matter what is ridiculous. This especially comes into play in the endgame Pacman level, one small mistake and you have to do it all again. One of the most bafflingly bad parts of this game. Speaking of the endgame, it's terrible, the aforementioned Pacman part, the demon train (which wasn't that bad), the final boss, which used zero game mechanics that we learned this whole game and just had us play space invaders with our sword. This also required perfection for at least a minute. Afterwards we get just a worse version of the Wind Waker Final Boss with no spectacle. After that we have to USE THE FLUTE WHICH DOESN'T WORK!!! This thing was fine for a majority of the game because it was generous and as long as you play the notes, it works. This was until I got to the desert sanctuary and even though I played the notes near perfectly, it did not count. I was stuck here for about an hour trying to get this to work, nearly passing out from asphyxiation (which I guess fuck people with asthma right?) until I just held my mic in front of a fan and let it do everything for me. Are you telling me that Nintendo thought it was a good idea for people to blow air into a microphone for twenty seconds straight three times in a row? Honestly atrocious. I only had this problem during the sand sanctuary and the final boss. My actual real biggest issue was the movement, again. They made it worse because they made it easier to roll. Which sounds good, except it is much easier to accidentally roll into enemies when you are trying to attack them. Basically all of the damage I took during my playthrough came from me rolling into an enemy instead of hitting him. Sometimes when I want to inch closer to a ledge to use the whip, link decides to either roll off the ledge or just full on leap off. This is why I say that this game desperately needs a remake more than Phantom Hourglass so that this issue is gone. My third issue, which is quite minor, is controlling Zelda. It isn't that good. It is slow and if you press the "follow me" button, her pathing is broken and sometimes will walk in the opposite direction or fall into sand. Back to the Spirit Tower, I liked it a lot more this time, except for the very last segment where you have to backtrack seventeen times to get a new type of soldier. It was very irritating. Oh also with the bunnies, why does my net no go where I tap on the screen? It's broken, some bunnies actually require luck to capture. My rankings of each dungeon: The Ocean Temple: I really like going underwater and being met with a calming surreal atmosphere, The reason why I didn't like this temple as much is because of the main sword puzzle. It was stupid. Tower of Spirits: I already said everything that I thought about this but just a recap: better than PH, Zelda AI is bad, and the last section was tedious. But walking up those stairs and having the music build up was chilling. Forest Temple: Very mid with not much going on, not too big of a fan of the fan. Snow Temple: I really enjoyed all the puzzles and traversing the rivers, however the boss was the worst in the game (other than the final boss) with nearly unavoidable attacks and too much health. Sand Temple: I really love the mechanics with moving the sand to move other stuff, plus the boss was very great. Fire Temple: Easily my favorite with great minecart puzzles and the boss being like my favorite boss in Twilight Princess. Overall I still think that This is better than Phantom Hourglass, most of game is very enjoyable with the annoying parts being very annoying. If any Zelda game deserves a remake, it's this one. 80/100