2.5/5 ★ – Empyrean's review of Tekken 6.

Harada really looked at Jinpachi and thought “how can I make this infinitely worse?” And thus Azazel, one of the worst final bosses in any fighting game, was born. Tekken 6 is by far, and still to this day, the most ambitious game in the franchise. That would be commendable if not for the fact that it successfully pulls off about 15% of its ideas. This is so far removed from what I like my Tekken to be that I really had to consider whether I’d prefer to play it over T1. Let’s start with the positives, as it’ll be quick. The customisation is absolutely insane, and maybe the best I’ve seen in any fighting game yet. Individual pieces for each body part, down to custom hair, for every character is bonkers. By the end my Devil Jin was a beast-man with a skeleton tail and a giant sword wearing golden armor. Chef kiss. Whilst the music and stages overall aren’t up to the usual standard, Electric Fountain, Hidden Retreat and Azazel’s Chamber are all instant classics. The latter finally returns to a darker atmosphere for the final boss and its theme shoots straight into my top 10. This is also the biggest roster by far in a mainline game, and with only one mimic and reskin in Mokujin and Panda respectively. Really impressive. Er… that’s about it! Where to even begin with the negatives. I say this with no exaggeration, and also as someone’s that’s always wanted a proper Tekken story mode: the scenario campaign is one of the worst stories in video game history. Unbearably awkward cutscenes that never end (the standoff scene has to be seen to be believed), character assassinations across the board (but mostly for Jin), and all led by Lars, the charisma black hole. Gameplay in arcade (where you CAN’T unlock character endings) doubles down on the juggles, splats, and bounds from 5, probably making it the least accessible game in the series. I’m not a bad player by any means, I can pretty comfortably clear TTT1 (generally considered the hardest) on ultra hard, but when I made the mistake of trying the online I would very regularly get one touched. There are also smaller issues like no character interactions, the visuals barely looking better than DRO and some models looking off (Jin & Heihachi in particular), the new roster being the worst since T4, the endings being mostly pathetic, and the frankly egregious load times. Perhaps worst of all is that they nuked Devil Jin’s hellsweep. You monsters! Tekken 6 is the first time I’ve not enjoyed a Tekken game (excluding spinoffs that aren’t TTT1) since the original, and it honestly makes me concerned that I won’t like the future entries. At the very least I can hope for less of Jin being a war criminal and less of Lars in general.