2/5 ★ – FireFoxie's review of Hitman: Absolution.

Platforms played on: PC I knew going in that Absolution was supposed to be the weakest game in the Hitman series according to the fans. Even still, I walked in with an open mind that perhaps this game wasn't that bad, and the complaints were maybe blown a little out of proportion. I have played games before that weren't exactly critically acclaimed, but that weren't as bad as people said, and I found them to be fun anyways like Thief 4 or Days Gone. Sadly, that is not the case for Absolution because my god is it bad. Honestly even as I walked in giving this game a chance, I didn't have high hopes for the story. The fact that Absolution's story is a continuation from the previous games makes it stupid by default. After watching some of the cutscenes and listening to the dialogue, it's worse than I imagined, and I had some pretty low expectations after playing all the others before this. I hated almost every single character in this game, especially the villains who had some of the dumbest fucking dialogue I have ever heard. For instance, one of the bosses you defeat in the game asked 47 in a cutscene why he has an erection as he was dying. Was I supposed to find that funny? It was just cringe and extremely obnoxious which is how I would describe almost every character and cutscene in this game. As for 47, I found him to be more likable than I did in Blood Money and I think that's because, like in Silent Assassin, his motive was personal, which was him protecting Victoria. As for Victoria though, she's not really a character in Absolution, but more of a plot device. I didn't dislike her, but I found I didn't really care about Victoria because she just wasn't that interesting, and the writers gave her nothing of value to say. Then again, I could say that about all the characters in Absolution. Part of what makes this game so cringey is the tone and atmosphere in Absolution, which is about as bad as Contracts, if not worse. This entire game felt like some cheap grindhouse film, and I don't like those kinds of movies. The game doesn't take itself as seriously as Contracts did however because they tried to at least add some dark humor throughout the game, but Absolution isn't as funny as it likes to think it is. I did find some of the jokes and dialogue amongst random NPCs a little funny at times though, but most of the time I found the humor to be in bad taste. It didn't exactly tickle my funny bone hearing lines like "47 likes it in the ass" or that he's a "fag-a-roonie" from some of the male NPCs which just a small example of how disgusting and off putting these "jokes" get. The gameplay is alright, I guess. It has moments where it can be fun, but there are a lot of times where it's really irritating because some of the poor choices in gameplay design. Most of the levels are small and because of that it restricts the way you can play and so it's not nearly as versatile as Blood Money. Absolution is also really linear, and there are several parts in various levels where your objective is to just make it to the other side of the room or exit undetected. At first it wasn't that bad, but after several sections of this it became derivative and boring, and making it through these parts without switching disguises is next to impossible even on easy. The save system is this game is awful and I honestly don't know what they were thinking when they came up with it. In Absolution, there are now save spots that you have to use and once you've used that save spot than you can't use it again until you've found another one on the map. Here's part of why this is awful: there are certain levels in this game that don't give you any save spots at all and if you die or get caught than you're doing that part of the level again until you reach the next part of the map giving you a checkpoint, or completing the whole level where it will then save to your profile. What's worse; if you close the game before actually finishing the level than the game erases the save just like in Blood Money. It feels very counterintuitive. I also didn't like the changes they made to the inventory in this game either. Your items and weapons are now assigned to your D-pad which I didn't find to be that fluid. Plus, when going through your inventory it doesn't pause the game so it can be a little chaotic when switching weapons in combat. One of the biggest changes that they made in this game is to the way the stealth works. Enemies now have an alert bar showing the player when they're about to be discovered. Like all the previous Hitman games, if you're wearing a disguise when you're noticed than your cover is blown, and the disguise is no longer useful. In Absolution, you're given a yellow meter on the lower right-hand side that you can use while in disguise to keep from being noticed, but as you use it it'll start to deplete. You can refill it by finding collectibles, killing targets, or if you unlocked a specific skill, you can even refill it by hiding in plain sight. While this sounds kind of cool, it becomes really annoying later because to pass some of the later levels in the game you have to constantly use it, and while you use it you move at a snail's pace because you can't run. Also, if you don't use it or time it right around enemies/NPCs they'll catch you in a matter of seconds. As I said earlier there are moments where the game is fun, but those are the times where the game lets you choose to be stealthily. However, Absolution is another one of those games in the series where once again they tried to blend both action and stealth together, and once again...it doesn't work. So, expect a few scripted boss fights where they're going to throw you in combat without giving you the option of stealth. They did add some of the features that carried over to World of Assassination like being able to choke someone out instead having to use a syringe, being able to drag a body after using the fiber wire and being able to switch disguises after putting someone in a bin or closet. These features really help in making the stealth in this game much more fun. They added a level up system where you're rewarded after completing missions with skills that help you in the game like taking more damage and being able to move faster. There are some skills that are tied to Contracts, but those servers closed down in 2020 and are now no longer obtainable. Overall: If you're looking to play the Hitman series than I'd honestly tell you to skip this one, along with Codename: 47. The story, dialogue, and characters are just awful and with the gameplay being unexceptional, there's really nothing good about Absolution for me to recommend it to another player. Pros: + unlockable skills after completing missions + some levels are kind of cool looking like the Terminus Hotel Cons: -terrible story -awful characters that are extremely annoying -linear gameplay in certain levels -moves really slow while using the instinct meter -contract servers are shut down