1/5 ★ – JayTheCh1cken's review of Xenoblade Chronicles X: Definitive Edition.

Let me be clear here about the rating - this is my rating ONLY for the added content from definitive edition. Chapter 13, the new party members, all that - that's what's rated 1 star here. The actual game underneath it is still a perfect 5 stars all these years later, even more so now with the QOL changes from DE, But let me explain myself, because this will be a long review with tons of spoilers for just about every Xeno game ever. Let's start with the good before I start ranting. All the stuff before Chapter 13 is by the whole good. Ga Jiarg FINALLY becoming a party member after how OBVIOUS it was that he was supposed to be one in the original X just feels vindicating to me. Neilnail is a sweetheart, and again, getting explanations for weird unexplained stuff from the original X like the time attack battle against Neilnail Furvus and Neilnail Albus and just the Qlurians in general was similarly awesome. Liesel is probably the lamest of the 3 new party members, her quests not really exploring any unexplained stuff from OG X, but she was still fun to interact with (which is better than most of X's party members already). Other QOL changes like reward tickets being much, MUCH easier to farm even if you're offline is fantastic, future proofing this game along with the introduction of the quick art cooldown meters completely change the game in a positive way. But then you get to Chapter 13. Hoo boy, Chapter 13. This is where most of my goodwill towards the game (built up over 10 years, by the way) gets thrown out the window. I felt just about every negative emotion towards this chapter, from boredom to rage to just sadness at the end, and with how much it all is I don't even know if I can get all my thoughts out about it. Let's just start with the cliffhangers left over from OG X. Remember how the lifehold core was completely wrecked yet the mimesomes were still functioning? Well that doesn't get explained, so who cares. Remember how it was revealed that Elma was an alien? I wonder where that goes? Nowhere. She gives one small backstory about how her planet got blown up too, so that's why she went to Earth, so who cares really. Remember how we got a shot of Lao waking up on a beach, clearly alive after the final battle, being approached by the Black Knight? Well, jokes on you because actually that was a prank and Lao was actually still dead, just in Xenosaga(??) purgatory, and all the Black Knight did was show up for a chat with him before leaving. Oh, and actually the guy who talks to Lao isn't actually the Black Knight from the artbook, what with the cool design and the sword, but just a blade operative in a black jacket with his hood up - totally just as cool please understand. And speaking of the not Black Knight, he's the worst character of Chapter 13 of all, Al. Al is the worst Xeno character ever, and that's saying something. He is missed potential incarnate, and his very existence drags this game down SO hard. Al is the mysterious hero guy from the opening of the game, and the reason he disappeared for the length of the entire game is because he got sucked into a wormhole where he was trapped in the nexus between dimensions. Of course this is where they insert the 'HAHA GUYS LOOK LOOK ITS THE ORIGINAL BLADE TRILOGY PLEASE CLAP' moment. Anyway, Al gets out and decides to ruin the established dynamics between characters back in NLA. When you meet him, everyone in the party feels the need to bow down and practically worship him for being the hero, which makes sense to an extent but it NEVER stops. It seems like the game itself wants you to think he's just the coolest, and it'll constantly FORCE you to interact with his dumb "what's poppin'" catchphrase like its the funniest thing in the world. Similarly, the cutscenes will never stop acting like his Skell, the Ares Prime is just the strongest thing in existence, that by the way only he can use because he's the super cool hero who isn't a mim, so keep your hands off it you unwashed peasant. That's a real funny route for the game to take when my Skell one-shots the final boss and his doesn't, but its the thought that counts, or doesn't in this case. Speaking of the final boss, Void is similarly the worst villain of the series, even worse than Luxaar from OG X. With a name like Void you'd expect him to just be a 'big bad darkness' type villain, you know, just a generic evil force or something, and you'd be right. Void does nothing except monologue on about 'the game' or whatever, never really DOING anything. What he DOES do - mostly flying around in the Vita - is something you've already seen ironically from Luxaar, which makes him really not menacing when you've already beaten the Vita before. Honestly, Void is exactly the same as Luxaar since they fill the same exact role - vague monologuing, being in charge of the Ganglion, piloting the Vita - Luxaar was at least funny whenever he showed up, at least. By the end of Chapter 13, I was only feeling sorry for Void (and not in the way the game wants you to, the whole 'oh no people were mean to him a bajillion years ago'), because he's just a guy who doesn't even want to fight the heroes by the end outside of needing their resources to survive, which is a rare point of positivity I find in the plot of the game with how it thematically fits with the game's theme of fighting for survival. But then Void gets beat up easily with Al's supposedly super cool Skell or whatever, so who really cares. There's the Ghosts too, just kinda there as more effective villains than Void and the Ganglion to the point where both the humans and the Ganglion spend most of the chapter just trying to run from them. They're a creepy hivemind of organic mechs or whatever that show up because they don't like Al's Skell (because of course it has to be all about Al in some way, right?) since it was made with ancient Samaar technology because its bad for the universe, clearly just standing in for the Gnosis from Xenosaga. To that end they do the WORST thing imaginable, the thing that made me lose all hope in Chapter 13, the hope I had for 10 years since watching the original ending on the Wii U. What do they do? They just blow up Mira for NO REASON, completely undoing EVERY good thing you've done. All the probes you planted to scout out the planet? All the surveying you've done to explore the planet? All the sidequests you did to make living on Mira not so bad? Thematically, it's all gone for NO REASON? Instead the humans just fly off in the Ma-non ship leaving behind NLA like its no big deal, despite the main game heavily implying that Mira itself might be sentient and TRAPPING all the different humans and aliens on it and preventing its inhabitants from leaving, even with time travel. So...okay. So why did they make Mira blow up? Where does everyone go? The ending of the game implies that the White Whale 2 is actually the blue light flying towards the merged planet at the end of Future Redeemed, which many people theorized it was going to be back when Future Redeemed came out. But wait, wasn't the blue light supposed to be KOS-MOS, recreating the ending of Xenosaga III when she drifts towards Lost Jerusalem? With all the Xenosaga references in Future Redeemed, from the Vector Industries branded radio to the mention of Dimitri Yuriev to Xenosaga being added to Xenoblade 3's copyright notice in the credits...I can't help but wonder what is going on? Were they originally going to have KOS-MOS be the blue light when they were making Future Redeemed, but afterwards couldn't get the rights so instead they quickly switched gears to make it the White Whale 2 instead? Was the White Whale 2 originally the plan, if so then why make all the references to Xenosaga, something that is more trouble than its worth then with how its owned by another company? Are they just messing with us at this point? Probably so, considering for some reason the planet the White Whale 2 comes upon in the ending randomly has a ring around it(??), something that clearly wasn't there in the Future Redeemed ending. Are they just being vague on purpose now so they don't have to commit to anything? The ring around the planet also has the side effect of making the new planet look like the Xenogears planet, which just opens another can of worms entirely...and I'm just tired at this point. We're never going to get any straight answer to these questions at least until Xenoblade 4, and the last thing I wanted in my Xenoblade X DE was question-baiting for Xenoblade 4. Though, apparently the Xenoblade X cast is going to be in it most likely at this point, and I just don't care. I don't really know how to end this review.