3.5/5 ★ – Kalle_Deimos's review of DOOM: The Dark Ages.

TLDR: We just be making games now Gameplay: DOOM: The Dark Ages is very good. Not as engaging as Eternal or 2016 but a worthwhile take on the genre. However, DOOM is now at a crossroads where I fear they're gonna start making games just to put a new product on the shelves. This isn't necessarily a gameplay criticism but to be playing TDA, the weakest performer in the bunch of the modern DOOM games, and then hearing that there is already new DOOM games in development, that this is just the start of a Midievel Slayer Arc. It doesn't make me excited for the next DOOM game, when they have been slowly declining in quality and I also need to wait for the overpriced DLC's which probably also won't be relevant to anything. I don't like it when studios are like "MORE GAME" when I feel like you aren't putting out great and exciting ideas already. I guess I'll talk about the game now. With the Slayer equipped with a shield now, gameplay has changed from run & gun to stand & fight. The main gimmick of the game is the shield which can block projectiles and...parry? Oh god, it's a parry game now?? And in one of the goofiest ways too. Parry-able attacks are green, so when an enemy swings his weapon at you and it flashes green, it makes sense. But it's really silly when enemies do parry projectile attacks since they'll just send a flurry of projectiles at you and one of them is green. It is very silly looking and can kind of take you out of the moment when a Pinky Rider pulls back his bow and arrow and then 6 glowing shields spring forth like he's playing Vampire Survivors. This parry system does give you some really cool "duel" style encounters tho, where a single large enemy focuses you while you parry and counter attack. I like it. Another thing I kind of like, the amount of weapons in this game. There is 12 guns, many of which remind me of Quake as they are less conventional weapons (Nail Gun, Muncher that crushes up skulls, gun that just shoots a metal ball at high speeds) and you're free to use whichever ones you want instead of being forced to use specefic ones in Eternal. The melee weapons are fine, they aren't really interesting enough to warrant me switching them out often. Shield Runes are also there but aren't really interesting enough to go through one by one. Just use the one you like the most. So we got the sauce, how about the meat? Well I won't lie, I kind of hated TDA until the 5th or 6th level. There's so many tutorials and changes to the gameplay that it struggles to get it's footing. But once you get to the Siege, the game gets really good. You are fighting in giant battlefields now, facing down armies by yourself in a psuedo-open world aspect where you get to explore these big regions instead of the more traditional level structure. Does it seem a bit lazy that the game design is mostly just big congregations of fodder enemies and a couple of big hitters? A bit, but it's really fun anyways. The Atlan / Serrat sections however? Totally hit or miss. The Atlan could be way better if it was more interesting than punch dodge right bumper. I was hoping that maybe there would be more special moves. Perhaps our punches do very little damage so you want to fill up the meter to do wrestling esque moves where you get to toss around the enemies instead of just the same open palm punch. And the Serrat sections were probably the worst early game. Doing the lock-on that weird lock up and then doing a dodging mini-game. It's extremely bizarre and way too video-gamey. It takes you out of it immediately. So in the end, they aren't much more interesting than a moderate distraction from the action. Overall, I liked TDA but it has many glaring issues that do NOT make me excited for the next installment or even the DLC. If I have to choose between many DOOM games just to keep playing DOOM, and waiting until a really good idea comes along, I think I'd prefer to wait. Story: Well it's cinematic. And that's the best I can really say about it. It's got a couple of neat concepts that either aren't committed too or made null due to the boring characters. All the characters have 0 personality or anything interesting to say. They just act like any military people would in any other AAA shooter game. You'd think that they would have a weird culture or something to riff some personalities off of but no. King Novik is just "The King". He is a thing, not a character. And so is everyone else. Except for Bishop Kreed who actually is interesting as a character because you can tell he's kind of a bumbling idiot who has no idea what he's supposed to do. Now let's talk about some concepts that were wasted. In the beginning of the game, the Slayer is being controlled by Kreed to assist in the war for some reason. The Slayer breaks that control within the first couple of missions and then just runs around killing demons. I think perhaps the whole "control" thing should have been delayed so we can really see the Slayer reach a boiling point that results in him breaking out. Another thing that is wasted. The Slayer is captured in essentially put in some weird force field prison suspensed over a sea of acid. Within 30 seconds of waking up he escapes. Couldn't of delayed that a bit? Maybe a timeskip to show that the war is now in the demons favor and things are more dire than before? No? Okay. So the Slayer escapes the prison, falls into acid and straight up dies. The next level you play as ZOMBIE SLAYER in the Underworld and I thought that was so awesome. However, nothing changes and you are resurrected a mission later. Really? That's it? That's all you were gonna do with this concept? It's such a cool idea that is rushed straight through to get you to your regularly scheduled action. I think I would have preferred some Zombie Slayer, maybe he gets some cool undead powers? Literally anything??? Whatever. And then the game ends like "and he's gonna kill more demons now heheheh". Alright. Basically nothing happens in this plot. All the heroes live, all the villains introduced are dead. Nothing has really changed. Graphics: That game engine be heating up my room trying to render the chunks of stone falling off those statues I be shooting. I think the physics engine of DOOM TDA is one of the most impressive I've seen. The visuals in general are extremely impressive. Gorgeous game with no performance issues in my entire run-time. And it loads INSTANTLY. Big applause for that. Although, there is a slight issue of readability when playing. I couldn't really pick out any details of the demons when playing, so many of those interesting demon designs went unnoticed. Sound: Was there music? I thought DOOM was supposed to be a metal audio experience. I don't know about you but, I don't remember a single bit of music throughout the game. It almost felt like the mixing was messed up because I heard music, but it was so low compared to...everything. Good thing the sound effects are amazing though. That Super Shotgun man. I don't know how they make it sound better every time. This is easily the most powerful the super shotgun has ever felt. Extra: Why am I using Dragon Quest gold to upgrade my weapons. That was super jarring. You can upgrade all of your equipment using 3 different currencies like a mobile game. I joke but I actually like this. Many of the upgrades are pretty trivial such as "hit enemy with shield saw to get ammo" but they're mostly really good. You can scour the map for codex entires, secrets, weapons skins and toys as well. All of which are the standard DOOM affair by now. The skins leave a bit to be desired as all they do is change the palette and all of the guns have the same four palettes to pick from. But at least they got rid of those worthless multi-player modes thank GOD. Favorite Thing: Ariel Shield Saw execution on mancubus Not My Favorite Thing: "I can never rule as king - as long as You Are The Only One They Fear" Genuinely awful line "Abby don't! She's The Last of Us Too!" tier line except it's real That line doesn't even make sense either. The Demons don't even really fear the Slayer in like, any game. They are constantly running at you and attacking you, I can't even think of a single instance where a demon in this series has not fought to the bitter end against you.