1/5 ★ – Kalle_Deimos's review of Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut.

TLDR: Making me watch the credits 7 times was a bad move considering that I have the creators of this abominations names cemented in my head. Gameplay: The fact that this game functions is kind of a miracle. It feels like it could fall apart at any moment and yet, it never did. I kind of wish it didn't function tho because I feel like I'm in hell. It's so goddamn boring and repetitive. There is 6 characters / stories to play. 3 are moderately fun. 3 are not fun. I enjoyed Sonic, Knuckles and Gamma. I did not enjoy Tails, Amy and Big. Tails is just the Sonic stages again. Amy has an interesting concept but moves way too slow with a bulky hammer (although the running hammer vault is fun). And Big is. Well. You know. For the most part you are playing through the same handful of stages over and over again. The Overworld is a novel concept but it's not very interesting and extends the run time way too long. And running through the jungle, LORD. The collision for the walls is so messed up, I can't even run freely in the Sonic game without getting screwed. I can't stand it. Most boss fights are pathetic. And some boss fights are just waiting around for 40 seconds for an opening to attack. The final boss is jank. Many levels are way too short. The game controls poorly. The chao gardens are tiedous to access let alone raise the chaos. It's not fun. But I gotta admit...the pinball level...that shit good as hell. Story: Watching the same cutscenes and story beats repeatedly is really fun and totally not exhausting. At least they had the ability to tell an interesting story for Gamma. Everything else, eh. You genuinely are watching the same story over and over again with slight alterations and a different ending. There's gotta be at least 10 Tikal flashbacks that basically say the same thing. IT'S ENOUGH, I GET IT. And the ending, "Alls well that ends well!" Tails the entire fucking city is destroyed. Not a sign of life in the entire city and you're acting like this is all cool. Graphics: Some of the worst cutscene animations I've ever seen in my life. The mouth movement is strange, especially when they make a negative expression or yell. So many shots of characters walking for way too long and then doing a weird animation. It's so ugly. The updated models look so bad compared to the original too. They lose a certain charm that was desperately needed. Almost every model in the overworld is constantly clipping or having model issues with random vertices stretching across the screen constantly. But I gotta admit, that intro cutscene goes so hard. Sound: The only real saving grace of this game is that the soundtrack is so good. Open Your Heart, the overworld themes and the level themes all slap. The character themes are not very good however. Except for Amy's and Gamma's. Oh, and I despise the Mystic Ruins theme now. Way too grating on my nerves. Extra: The Chao Garden, something that drove so many hours of gameplay for me in the sequel, is super lame in this one. And that's mainly because it's so incredibly inconvienent. When playing through SA2 the game had Chao Keys that instantly took you to the Chao Garden after a level to give you a break from the action and lets you cash in those drives / critters. Even after beating the game you can use the level select to choose any level you want and then immediately go to the garden. Not in SA1. You have to traverse the overworld to and from, back and forth, just to level up your Chao's a little bit. Nah man. Every level has two extra challenges to complete which arent much more than "Get 50 coins" and "Finish in a time limit". And then there's Mission Mode which feels like an actual joke. Nah man, fuck it. Favorite Thing: Monkey Destruction Switch Not My Favorite Thing: My cherished memories betraying me.