2/5 ★ – Lord_Hazenberg's review of Marvel's Spider-Man 2.

Another day, another over hyped Sony exclusive where its fans assure us that it will be game of the year yet never is. It took me just over 20 hours to complete the game & 100% the map. No platinum trophy though as I don’t care enough to grind 200 ability kills + all upgrades for those last couple. I will mark the paragraphs where I discuss story spoilers because I have to dig into it when it comes to this game’s awful writing. First up will be the positives because the game is still fun on a base level. Swinging around is the best part of the game, combat mostly works, & the hyper realistic NYC is impressive. Combat feels okay, but somewhere the devs said screw it and decided throwing dozens of enemies at the players constantly was a good idea. Constantly barraged with dodge & parry indicators to where pulling off a decent combo is incredibly difficult. Even on normal difficulty with max health upgrades, a basic enemy grunt can 2 shot you. Boss fights get really stretched out as most have 2-4 health bars, but you usually get a checkpoint after depleting a bar. Graphics are fine except if it’s the character faces because holy crap is everyone in this game ugly. The new Peter face, Hom Tolland as I call him, looks like a middle schooler. New MJ looks like Skylar White from Breaking Bad, and shares a striking resemblance to one of the writing staff so one could infer this as a self insert. Encountered some bugs as well. The game would constantly freeze up if too many dialogue calls happened at the same time. Had to reload a few checkpoints as new ability QTE prompts just wouldn’t work. Also got the glitch where spiderman becomes a cube if I equipped about 75% of my unlocked suits. The writing however is the biggest problem which I’ll go into detail below. A completely new writing staff was brought in compared to 2018 Spiderman and it definitely shows. *Main Story Spoilers Here* Starting off, the story recap at the main menu is terrible. It’s been 5 years since I played the first game, which was great, & I didn’t play the Miles spinoff, and this recap didn’t help me remember anything. Instead it was Peter Parker talking about how MJ & Aunt May were the only good things in his entire life. Odd, but a sign of things to come. The opening sequence doesn’t wait 15 minutes to hit you with the lefty politics. A 95% white gang robs an unattended store called the “gun club”, and Peter remarks that there shouldn’t be gun stores in the city so that criminals won’t have a place to rob. My eyes rolled back like the Undertaker. You heard it here first, don’t own a business so people won’t rob you. Almost the entire game seems to crap on Peter Parker. He’s constantly treated as wrong or stupid and having to apologize to the other characters. Needing to be saved by either Miles or MJ because he can’t do anything on his own which is the point they keep hammering home throughout. Black Cat also pops into the story to tell you she’s gay now then leaves lmao. Kraven however is a lone highlight. His motivation of dying on his own terms hits really well, although that didn’t spare him from occasional cringey dialogue like, “there are no good men,” as the white women in the writers room clapped. He felt like the only character written by someone who had a clue. I don’t hate Miles as a character but it’s so frustrating how this game has to prop him up by tearing Peter down. Always being told by Peter that’s he’s better than him, even though most of Miles’ stuff wasn’t that memorable to begin with. Especially when the game ends with Peter temporarily retiring to be an eco warrior while giving Miles his blessing to be the sole Spiderman. But by far the worst part of the main story was a fight between Peter & symbiote MJ. She has 4 health bars, the most in the game alongside final boss Venom, and spends the entire fight shitting on Peter for being useless as he just agrees with everything she says. Speaking of MJ, they did make her 3 missions better from a gameplay perspective compared to the first game. But all 3 could’ve been cut for pacing as one mission accomplished nothing, one could’ve been Peter, & the last could’ve been Miles. They also gave her a Harley & a stun gun leading further credence to a self insert. *End of Main Story Spoilers* *Side Story Spoilers Here* Now this is where things get bowling shoe ugly. Whoever wrote these missions needs to be fired ASAP, because you cannot go 10 seconds without cringing out of your skin. This game was 100% written by people who have only lived in a big city and created their ideal version of it. Given the fact that Insomniac is based near Seattle, you already know what kind of politics they hold. The all white gang from before steals music instruments from a “people of color in music” museum just to sell on the street. You find them by tracking the toxic fumes of their eco unfriendly truck engines. They also sell bees & plants important to Peter’s eco warrior program to sell on the black market. Selling bees is very legal irl, and the eco friendly bikes left unattended around the city aren’t touched by criminals. Puzzles will usually take place in locations around the city covered in gay or black pride graffiti. All of which is censored in the international release because Insomniac cares more about money than actually supporting those causes. Even some main story missions in an already short game are just to introduce side missions. With riveting gameplay such as; follow the bird, clear the bad guy camp, & collectibles. Working with the police in the first game was deemed “problematic” so they’ve been cut entirely from this game. The police lady that Peter worked with is now a vigilante with a side shave who exists to further belittle Peter by constantly calling him wrong & stupid while he just takes it. Her story has no conclusion either as it just teases Carnage for a DLC or sequel. *End of Side Story Spoilers* That concludes my opinions on this disappointing sequel. A very frustrating game as the potential was right there as it’s mostly a well made game that’s completely let down by its awful writing. The main story outside of Kraven was very lackluster and none of the side content is worth doing. It’ll get nominated come game journalist award season because it’s a Sony exclusive, but I don’t believe it deserves anything unless there’s a “best at swinging around gameplay” award.