5/5 ★ – MPT's review of Yakuza 0.

there’s facts to life. grass is green, the sky is blue, no other game series can strike a perfect balance of tones as Yakuza, etc etc. how confident the these games are in themselves can’t be overstated. Yakuza 0 is charming, bizarre and absolutely huge, and the most perfect intro you could possibly get to such a freakishly unique series of games all this begins with the story. having never played another Yakuza, i had zero attachment or nostalgia tying me to this, as well as zero knowledge of how these things worked. so naturally, initially i had no idea what the FUCK was going on💔. you’re bombarded with dialogue, long cinematics that come in 4 different formats and confusing gameplay systems, but the pacing still manages to be very slow. if there’s one word for the beginning of the game as a player new to Yakuza, it’s jarring. but i’m 98% sure this (pretty big) hurdle is like this to gatekeep the absolute peak waiting on the other side. if you can get past how strange and inaccessible Yakuza 0 might feel initially as your first in the series, you’ve struck gold my friend. and you realise this quickly when you’re exposed to the series’ insane tonal juggle. you have the most stone-cold serious, violent, monologue-heavy crime drama main plots that hook you and don’t let go mixed with the goofiest absurdist comedy sketches you’ll ever see in the side content. the substories (side quests) and open world leave you in a constant cycle of “what the fuck is this?” then “this is actually really cool and funny” then “i love this”, and repeat (in the best way possible). arguably the best (and my favourite) in the series, Yakuza 0 carries itself effortlessly between these two distinct personalities, leaving it with such an addicting charm. this only grows with the main gameplay feature, the combat. you come for the the satisfying beat em up style, unbelievable array of moves, and money and enemies flying across your screen, but the unquestionable star of the show is the absolutely nuclear set of heat actions. you don’t know hype until you’ve seen some of these animations. smashing a motorbike over someone’s head or drowning them in boiling kettle water or tossing them around in mid air like a salad with brass knuckles never looked so good and never will again. the main narrative of this prequel is an absolute behemoth. it’s like playing a prequel TV show like Better Call Saul that’s in the conversation of being even better than the main event that comes after it. on a technical level this shit looks and sounds glorious - it’s full of beautiful shots and cinematography with an immaculate score and has the most passionate acting i’ve seen in a game ever. it may start slow, get super convoluted and pull a few punches, but when it kicks in you’ll feel like you’ll never be this hooked on a story again. the technical aspects meshed with its success on a writing level make Yakuza 0 narratively untouchable. it’s emotional, rammed with mind blowing twists and insane combat encounters and houses some of the gruffest, nastiest villains and coolest characters ever (and does it effortlessly). you’ll want to just blast through the entire narrative. it introduces and builds the legends of two of the series’ key players, Kiryu and Majima, absolutely flawlessly. these two are absolute dons and existing in a reality where you’re able to play as both in a single game is one of life’s greatest gifts, trust. it does just as well with the supporting cast that return in the chronologically later games and creates some completely new characters that are on par. every single one feels like a standout in their own way. it takes huge swings to keep you engaged and they absolutely work. while you may be going “that’s convenient” or “how tf are they not dead” a lot, i personally found these things to not dampen my enjoyment. not every story beat makes total logical sense i’ll admit, but i realised (especially after playing the other games) this is a massive part of the charm. these gargantuan and bombastic stories full of powerhouse acting, cinema-quality aesthetics, imposing characters, clinically insane twists and conveniences and gripping crime drama are over the top and they know they are, and Yakuza 0 does it with the most flair imo. and when you’re not invested in the main narrative you’re equally invested in the nuts side content. the sub stories are in competition for the best in the series. they’re seriously the most creative little tales ever and range from a pizza passport situation to a haunted videotape to a brainwashing cult to having a kid version of a later game’s main villain try and steal your pants. the boys at RGG must’ve had to consult the god of comedy to come up with these things. the range and creativity is just bonkers. variety is the name of the game with the other side content too. the playgrounds of Kamurochō (obviously) and this time Sotenbori are just as rammed with things to do as they are in every other Yakuza, maybe even more so, but there’s never an issue or quantity over quality. absolutely everything is fun in its own way. there’s street combat encounters and a coliseum for if you’re wanting to beat the shit out of folk, classic arcade games like claw machines, Street Fighter, Out Run etc, plenty of gambling with blackjack, poker or catfights, classic board games like mahjong or Shogi, activities like bowling, darts, pool, fishing, a disco rhythm game and karaoke (🐐) and the stars of the show: the Cabaret Club, Real Estate Royale and Pocket Circuit. the quality and variety of every regular mini game can’t be overstated, but the final 3 is where the game goes above and beyond. each have their own isolated episodic stories with unique, deep characters and arcs and act as their own mini management modes. you can legit sink tens of hours into each one as you build your businesses/ create the most OP pocket circuit car, and each proves just how special and passionate the writing is for this game. there’s a genuine emotional investment in each that speaks volumes about the overall writing quality of the game. for a completionist, this game is a dream and a nightmare in all the best ways. the sheer amount of things to do ranging from mind numbing grinds to challenges needing intense skill and focus make this game (like the others) a total completion rollercoaster. the 100% legit feels like an artefact behind the world’s strongest glass. the word “daunting” gets thrown around a lot but damn it needs to be reserved for the moment anyone decides to look at an in-game Yakuza completion list and decide they’re gonna conquer it for the first time. thankfully, with all the highs and lows, this is exactly what i want out of fully completing a game, and that feeling after doing it is so hard to rival. can the really difficult achievements make me want to hurl my Xbox in front of a train? for sure. does some of the grinding make me wish i was gutted and bleeding out in a ditch? absolutely. but that rewarding feeling and seeing the 100% just makes it all worth it. i’ve yapped and tried my hardest to explain how unique and special the Yakuza series is, but just as with games like the Souls series, you really need to experience them yourself to believe. Yakuza 0 is the undisputed top of the Yakuza mountain for me imo and does everything with so much style and confidence. in terms of how hooked it gets you, whether in the main narrative or side narratives, the impeccable characters, the excessive, crunchy combat, the variety of deep minigames, the dense and expressive open world zones, the meaty completion - this shit may just be flawless. Yakuza 0 charmed me into experiencing one of the best games and game series ever and for that it’s one of my favourites of all time.