2/5 ★ – NexusofVenus's review of Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

The most impressive thing abt Xenoblade 2 isn’t how bad of a game it is. It’s how a game this bad commands so many adoring fans. While the combat loop is fun and in depth… every single other element of this game is atrociously bad. Voice acting is lackluster, writing sucks, side quests are boring, random blade pulls might be the dumbest mechanic ever, and the switch can barely even run this dogshit game. Upon revisit… dude I’d rather play xenosaga 2 over this garbage pile. This game has the audacity to expect insane amounts of dedication and commitment to barely fleshed out mechanics. Like the amount of time I spent salvaging, even with blades to increase rare drops, and still never once saw the item I needed for a quest? Bullshit. Xenoblade 2 just has far too many mechanics going on at once to be fun. Harvest points are stupid as fuck. Especially since sometimes you’ll see one in the ground… but it’ll give you tree stuff? And then one clearly placed on a tree trunk will give you crops? Wtf? This game sucks so bad not even an expansion pass saved its sorry ass. And the story is downright pathetic. “How dare you treat blades like objects! They’re people too. Anyways why don’t you toss out all your common blades so you can make room the shiny rare ones okay?” The only interesting character gets killed off and the game goes from trying to explore the complexities of war and land ownership to “haha hey check out this girls tits haha”. The only people who like this game over the other games are weeb virgins. Which is also who I assume wrote half of this games female cast. Also it’s crazy how people argue that calling this games female representation bad is just because you’re “sensitive” or “can’t handle boobs”. Brother… I can handle boobs perfectly fine, I can handle the pair I got and your mom’s to boot. But that doesn’t change the fact that every woman in this game is designed like they belong on a mousepad. Plus… if you have to release a 30 dollar expansion just to give your villains some personality because you forgot to do it the first time? Maybe they just sucked. No I didn’t “misunderstand Malos” I understand him perfectly… he’s a shit villain. Also Rex is possibly the worst jrpg protagonist of all time. Listen I like a “power of friendship” protag as much as anyone. I adore Rean from Kiseki. But usually “power of friendship” characters have to earn that power and trust. But Rex never does. He cries like a bitch and never learns anything. Take Vandahms sacrifice. A good writer would use that situation to establish a flaw of Rex, he’s immature and irresponsible and then create another similar situation for Rex to respond more maturely in to show he’s grown. This game does not do this. Later on when Pyra gives herself up to torna to save the gang, Rex responds by crying and quitting. He hasn’t changed a bit. He doesn’t deserve the respect and trust he’s given by the rest of the cast. And by the end… I hate the fucker.