4.5/5 ★ – PKMX's review of Super Mario Bros. Wonder.

After a STUPID hiatus right at the very end, this ridiculous endeavour is finally over... until I revisit the NSMB series in a few months. I skipped them here because I already 100%'d them all between 2006-2014, but I guess it's worth refreshing my memory so I'm ready to share my hot takes about why people need to get off those game's asses. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it though. How the hell did I consistently stick with this marathon for six weeks, then fuck off after starting the final, brand new game? Anyway, massive regret because this game is class and kinda easily the best 2D Mario. A lovely final reward for making it to the end of this torturous binge. My main observation is that there's a constant energy of "try to call THIS game bland you cunts" that emanates from absolutely everything in this game... except the damn soundtrack. Every little detail is decorated with so much flair and whimsy and it's CLASS. The animations, the art style, the expressiveness of every character you encounter, the new powerups, it's a never-ending active effort to beat the "Mario is bland" allegations and create something that boasts exceptional creativity at every turn. I had some pre-conceived gripes going into this, all of which were quickly debunked and made me look like a fool. I thought the talking flowers would be annoying and stupid. How did I ever doubt them? They're a fucking delight. Some have accused them of being "well THAT just happened" type of characters, but hell no. They're just little guys who are fascinated by their surroundings and the crazy things that transpire, and it's fucking joyous. The jokes somehow always land. I can't get enough of them. While I think NSMB deserves much more credit than it's given... yeah a lot of it is put to shame by Wonder here. No more floaty movement, everything is so interactive and IDK MAN IT'S JUST FUCKING CREATIVE AND ZANY AS HELL. That's the important thing here. Wonder captures the exact energy that should be expected from every game - blissful, infectious, childlike whimsicality. Running and jumping around the place screaming yippee, gathering mental powerups, and killing every cunt in your path should always activate every neuron in your brain and put a smile on your face and this game delivers that feeling in droves. Mario is so fucking class at his best. Anybody who writes off the entire series as bland is a fucking GEEK. Go play Danganronpa or some shit you fucking future convict. Despite all this visual creativity, this game strangely lacks in the music department. There isn't a single track that stands out to me? Which is strange for a Mario game, especially a brand new one. It's never bad and is always comfortable listening, but you'd expect more from a game where almost everything else just jumps out of the screen. I'll give it a listen without the distractions of crazy bullshit! Speaking of crazy bullshit, yeah I love the game's whole gimmick. Wonder flowers are in every level and are always interesting and fun as hell. Flower Kingdom is a welcome new setting, and while it still retains the core formula with its world themes, there's enough of a visual overhaul along with new ideas to make it feel fresh. Traversing the world map has never felt better, and Castle Bowser is a sick design. Back to bitching! Every boss is Bowser Jr? The fuck? Again, in a game full of new creative enemies in the normal levels, you couldn't extend that to the bosses too? NSMB DS completely outshines in that regard. Strange, strange choice. Even the Koopalings would have been cool. Fix that next time and we might have the first 10/10 2D Mario on our hands. Now, I always say I can't be fucked with difficult bullshit in games anymore. I don't have the patience, nor the time as there are hundreds of games I need to get through with the little time I set aside for them. But in saying that, I could have used some more challenge here. I do make the exception for big Mario games. In this game, even the 4 star levels are pretty easy and only a few courses gave me any trouble. All the difficulty is saved for the very, VERY end in a bullshit course that made me want to drink myself to death. And that's coming from someone who can beat Champion's Road several times in a row blindfolded. Weird spike! Fair play to Kevin Afghani and all the new voice actors! I adjusted pretty quickly and hardly even noticed after a while. Top marks for them! Just a few drawbacks that prevent it from hitting the 5 stars it was capable of. Maybe next time... With all these complaints you'd think there'd be more than a quarter star penalty, but man it's so fucking FUN. It's clearly a level above World, and its highs are so high I can't bring it down much. I love crazy movement and parkour bullshit in platformers, and badges provide so much of that for me in this. Moving around is outrageously fun. Powerups are Galaxy 2 levels of creative and fun. IT'S FUN!!! Fuck off nostalgia merchants! Recency bias? Nope, but even if so, it's better than nostalgia bias! I'll buy a copy of Mario 3 to take a huge piss all over it. 3D Mario is so much better than 2D Mario, but this is a game that doesn't embarrass itself standing next to the likes of Galaxy and Odyssey. Learn some lessons here and achieve perfection next time. I'm glad this marathon is over, and I'm glad it had a triumphant conclusion.