3.5/5 ★ – SSGTSnuggles's review of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order.

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is a game where I had to Google the title because I swear they keep adding more words every time I look. In the game, you play Cal, a ginger with crippling amnesia that can only be solved by randomly overcoming repressed trauma as the plot demands it. Your primary goal is to find a list of kids to turn into mystic space ninjas; in gameplay terms this consists of both combat and platforming puzzle sections. Your secondary goal is to get Cal to behave properly and solve some absolutely horrendous moon logic puzzles and labyrinths that would be a lot better if you weren't expected to backtrack through them to get a new poncho. The combat feels snappy and satisfying. You can slice creatures in half, throw people off cliffs, throw people into other people, and revoke someone's ability to move for a second while your murder his buddies. The options aren't endless, but they certainly feel good. Even on the highest difficulty, enemies collapse like we all want the housing market to once you get a good hit or two in, so it feels good to curb stomp entire rooms. The entire final area is a goddamn victory lap of murdering dudes in themed chambers with whatever your sadistic arsenal desires. Which is good. The production quality is also good. Sound design, visuals, acting, mixing, yadda yadda it's a triple-A title and it has polish or whatever. Nothing incredible, but it's good. I won't be humming any tunes from the game, but it was appropriate. So, why not perfect? Two words: context sensitivity. To describe what I mean, I will walk you through a late game puzzle's solution: the light crystal fuck off room. You begin on a platform with window behind you attached to a plug. Across from you is another platform with the only outlet that you can swap between platforms. If you plug in the window, it opens, creating a beam of light in the room. In the center of the room is a crystal slightly off center to the light beam, and below the crystal is a rope that doubles as a second plug. You also learned earlier that light + crystal = progress. If this was a DnD game, this is what it would have sounded like. Me - I'm going to Force Pull the rope. Devs - Sure. Cal is now holding the rope. He is ready to swing to the other platform. Me - Okay, I swing to the other platform. Devs - You see an outlet. I'll color it blue to let you know you can push it. Me - I do that. Devs - Gotcha. It is now on the other side of the room. You already know that plugging it in will cause the light beam. Me - Okay. I do that. I'll then swing from the rope to try swing the crystal into the light beam. Devs - Okay. The crystal does not budge an inch. Me - Even with my whole weight? Devs - Nothing. Me - Okay. I'm going to use magic to try and push it into position. I've used it before to push giant metal balls around, so there's a lot of Force behind it. Devs - Okay, no effect. Me - (annoyed) Okay, I'm going to unplug the door, then pull the crystal rope towards me, and then try to plug it in. Devs - It doesn't go in. Me - Okay, what am I supposed to do? Devs - Stand on the first platform, pull the rope towards you, then walk right. The crystal will begin to move. Me - ...wait, what? I have literal magic that pushes shit around, and tried to use my entire body weight with no effect, but I can walk it and it works? Why didn't the other shit work? Devs - Fuck you that's why. Also, heads up, you'll need to plug the crystal into that outlet, but it only works if the plug is on the other side of the room for no reason. This was the most egregious example, but there were other instances. Platforms that look like you can stand on them have invisible walls, the lock-on button is the same as the interact button so sometimes instead of locking onto the giant zebra monster Cal instead decides to slowly walk towards a shiny button, the jump button and dismount button are the same thing in very certain circumstances whereas others use different buttons for no reason which led to one annoying moment where Cal decided to respawn over a bottomless pit and die. Also the robot's charge has a shitty hitbox. 7.5 out of ten. Did I mention backtracking sucks ass?