2.5/5 ★ – UnfunnyMan's review of Pokémon Shield.

Its really difficult for me to review this game. Let me start off by saying, I fucking adore Pokemon, I've gone to this franchise as an escape so many times because the world of pokemon (although conceptually stupid) is just so incredible and engaging, as someone who loves both anime and animals, this franchise is pretty much perfect for me and I've loved just about everything I've experienced from this franchise regardless of whether or not its actually good or bad, and this was no exception. So, what's the issue here? I just said I loved playing the game and praised Pokemon as a whole to an extent that I'd consider it one of my favorite things ever? What the fuck is going on? Well, I also said regardless of whether or not its actually good or bad, and uh, this was kinda really bad! If not really really underwhelming. I've played a Pokemon game from every single generation, some of which I've only played the remakes, but I still count that as playing them, and it never really bothered me that the games more or less just stayed the same in terms of core gameplay and narrative throughout. But then, X and Y came out, and they were incredibly innovative to the franchise in just about every way (aside from the narrative) and summoned a new generation of Pokemon fans while bringing back a ton of old Pokemon fans, these games were fucking awesome as they were the first in the main series to feature 3D Graphics on top of having pretty great animations for an early 2010's 3DS JRPG, not to mention the introduction of many new gameplay features such as Mega Evolution, these games looked so Goddamn good that they convinced me to buy my own 3DS just to play them and they completely sold me on the game series as a whole (I was already into the anime and trading card game by that point) Sun and Moon was pretty much the same thing but less innovative but WAY prettier (Alola is probably my favorite region) and Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon were uh...Sun and Moon but with more stuff! I know a lot of people were disappointed with that but I more or less just expected Ultra Moon to be a more content heavy version of Moon and I wasn't disappointed at all as I already loved that game to death and it just gave me more of what I loved. Anyways back on topic, I also played Let's Go Pikachu and thoroughly enjoyed it as a much easier but still pretty Goddamn enjoyable side game filled with nostalgia and reminders that Pokemon Go exists! I didn't expect anything much from that game because it was just a remake of Gen 1 and on that note it excels. So, what's the issue with Sword and Shield? Well, the 3DS/Wii U to the Switch is arguably the biggest jump in hardware for Nintendo, and we were not only promised that we would get a game that takes full advantage of the hardware, but a game that would be a leap forward for the franchise and get us hyped for the future of Pokemon on the Switch...and uh...it didn't really do that. Not only did they scrap half the amount of Pokemon and say they did it to make room for better animations that ended up being complete shit anyway, but they didn't innovate hardly at all...the game looks like shit, it runs like shit, and it plays the same on top of being considerably easier? Like, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if this just fucking ran on the XY engine but with a resolution upscale, and it even feels like they scaled back on some features which makes it even MORE frustrating. Of course since I gave this a 2½ I have some positives, quite a few actually, I loved the music a LOT, the art style itself and the Galar region are just jawdroppingly gorgeous (I particularly loved the architecture and the color palette throughout) and some of the new Pokemon designs are actually really nice, I also loved the addition of gym challenges regardless of how easy they all may have been, I love the character customization and character designs themselves so much so that I wish it had a better and more consistent engine to take advantage of it. God, there's so much I love about Pokemon Sword and Shield, but there's so much that I hate about it as well, I loved playing it, because its Pokemon, and I'm physically incapable of not loving a Pokemon game with all my heart, but I'm still frustrated with it, because well...its just another Pokemon game with nothing incredibly new or exciting to offer like we were promised, and it makes me genuinely sad for those who bought a Switch for these games and walked away disappointed. But at least they now have access to good games that actually were a step forward for their respective franchises, like Odyssey or BOTW or Animal Crossing 👍 Unless you're a huge Pokemon fan like myself, I do not suggest picking it up at all, in fact even if you are a huge Pokemon fan I'd still hesitate to recommend this over just playing ORAS or USUM or XY, because you're not getting a very different experience at all aside from a higher resolution. Still gonna play the DLCs and love them to death because I'm still a Pokemon fanboy bitch that loves everything Pokemon tho 👍