2/5 ★ – aitch's review of PaRappa the Rapper Remastered.

Platinum #59: Parappa the Rapper Remastered I have extremely fond memories of playing this game in Jr High, so I was excited to relive some of my former glory. What a huge mistake that was... While I somewhat jest, the songs, goofy lyrics and simple animation and story brought a huge smile back to my face, the controls in this game are truly ABYSMAL. It saddens me to say that this remaster deserves its 61 on Metacritic. I’m a drummer and I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty darn rhythmically inclined, and the rhythm in this game is ATROCIOUS. The buttons presses in every song REQUIRE you to be either a 16th ahead or behind, and it’s pretty infuriating. I was told time and time again during my playthrough that, and I quote, “I gotta believe!” I wanted to believe. My friends, oh how I desperately wanted to believe! And for the most part, I did believe, but my belief was mostly relegated to hearkening back and clinging to the nostalgia of playing this game in the late 90s on my CRT. This wasn’t this most difficult Plat I’ve ever gone for (although it was difficult for all the wrong reasons!), but truly it was the most heart-breaking Plat. I wish that they put more time into tightening up the controls and timings, but alas, we are left with this.