0.5/5 ★ – jdraco's review of EA Sports College Football 25.

EA had 11 years to make this game, but instead they shit this out in 11 minutes This is undoubtedly one of the most pathetic games of all time One of the most sorry attempts at a video game that I’ve ever seen There is absolutely no joy to be derived from playing this game Not a single ounce of fun, not a single fucking milligram of happiness will ever be had while you’re playing this game Playing this game is like watching your soul slowly get sucked out of your body and absorbed by a fucking black hole It is genuinely the same exact game as Madden: same physics, same AI, same broken mechanics; and yet, this game is somehow worse The gameplay for starters is just fucking stupid; not a single play ever works Either all your receivers are fucking ass, the defender is a god in disguise, or your quarterback just decides to play with their helmet on backwards The gameplay just never even slightly feels satisfying Playing this game is like dragging your balls against sandpaper; it makes you physically cringe Another thing about this game that fucking sucks too is that for whatever reason they just completely took away things that were in Madden For example, in Dynasty mode, which is basically this game's version of Franchise mode from Madden, you’re not allowed to edit any players at all You can’t change their names, attributes, or anything So basically, if you want to make your own character, then you’re forced to play the game mode, “Road to Glory.” And this game mode is also fucking shit, especially if you’re a quarterback Because for starters, the camera angles are complete dogshit, all of them, and you can basically never see all of your receivers on screen at once Secondly, as to why this mode sucks, you can only choose 1 fucking play at a time, and it has to be whatever play that your dumbass coach gives you And I swear to you, your coach that calls the plays in Road to Glory, might be an actual 4-year-old, because they just give you nothing but the most brain-dead plays of all time Like giving you run plays on 3rd and 10, run plays when you’re down 20 in the 4th quarter, terrible RPO’s all the time, and to top it off, they never fucking go for it on 4th down, EVER It could be 4th and inches on the opponents 20-yard line, and the coach still wouldn’t go for it. It’s a fucking joke And so are the animations in this game Everyone runs like the cop from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, with every single stride that they take more outrageous than the last This game is, again, just pathetic And people legitimately paid $100 to play it early, which is just baffling to me Donating $100 to Joe Biden’s campaign would be a better investment of your money Hell, lighting a $100 bill on fire would be a better use for that money Because it’s basically the same result, but the fire would look cool at least This game is genuinely just nothing It’s a waste of time, a waste of space, a waste of plastic, a waste of gigabytes, and a waste of my sanity So congratulations, EA. You did it again; you created another all-time classic piece of shit I can’t wait for Madden 25 .5/5