1/5 ★ – jdraco's review of Pokémon: Magikarp Jump.

This “game” is just awful And you may notice that I put the word “game” in quotation marks… And that’s because I really don’t even know if you can even classify this as a game I’ve done the research and looked at multiple different dictionaries to see if Magikarp Jump fits the criteria for what a game is And I still don’t know Although Merriam-Webster defines a game as “a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other,” So maybe Magikarp Jump does fit the criteria Because although there really is no game to be had within the product itself There’s still the component of “mental competition,” which could be the internal struggle that I constantly had with myself to try and keep playing Magikarp Jump The struggle to constantly sit through all the 8 million tutorials, the unskippable cutscenes, the unskippable dialogue, and the boring-ass gameplay loop All of it was a complete mental competition with myself to see how far I could push my own mind and body to keep going with Magikarp Jump That was the real game all along… But yeah, Magikarp Jump is complete dogshit The whole game just consists of you tapping on your phone screen over and over again to get your Magikarp to eat berries so that they grow bigger, and then you have to train them so that they can jump higher so that you can then enter them into a jumping competition against another Magikarp It’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen I honestly played this game out of complete boredom on Thanksgiving and then just completely forgot that I played it at all There is really nothing to this game I mean It’s not absolutely abysmal. It’s Pokémon at the end of the day, so it has some charm to it But it’s just so bare-bones and just not fun to play at all So yeah, this game was terrible But I will say, it still did hold my interest more than that Cowboys vs. Giants game on Thanksgiving So I’m giving Magikarp Jump, a 1/5