0.5/5 ★ – michaelsoftexcel's review of It Takes Two.

*spoilers ahead* It Takes Two is a very literal title, as the message of the game is about using collaboration to make a relationship work. It also takes two players to play the game. However, it only takes one purchase, and I dodged that bullet. From the get-go, the humans look worse for wear, but luckily we only see them for a couple minutes of cutscene before we get to play as the toy versions of Cody and May, a couple forced to fall in love again if they want to be human again by the book version of The George Lopez Show their daughter bought to fix their relationship. Starting with the characters, Cody and May are both so incredibly annoying. They hate each other and all the dialogue is written to make sure you know that. Their models are over-animated, with Cody doing a lot of arm flailing to show his emotion, which is always angry. Dr. Hakim is the most insufferable game-guide since Claptrap with jokes twice as bad. He acts in place of Josef Fares, forcing the players to do bloated levels with constantly changing co-op mechanics in an attempt to make them to love again. The couple's daughter, Rose, has hardly any screen-time, but when she does she spends it running around the house, finding trinkets and saying stuff like "this snowglobe makes mummy happy all the time, maybe seeing it, she will not divorce dad!" Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so trite. 'Feel bad about divorce! Your British daughter will be sad! Force it!' I mentioned bloated levels, and boy oh boy this game is full of them. Nearly every level overstays its welcome, forcing you to do puzzles with whatever ability Hakim has given you to traverse the world this time. And this game is only 10-12 hours long! It needed an editor to trim so much fat off, so many levels made the game weaker narratively, the final two levels in-particular. These levels are focused on Cody and May getting back into their old hobbies, because not having a hobby is why normal people get divorces. Cody has a long garden level, where you learn that May needs to tell Cody that he can garden in order for him to be motivated enough to do it. Afterwards, we force May to overcome her stage fright to sing again. By stage fright, I mean that she is afraid to sing in front of a fake audience, and by sing, I mean she sings a short song with no lyrics that's treated like a grand finale. There are even cool parts to this level, but the purpose behind it is to stupid and I had already wanted to stop playing this game 9 hours ago. This is a nitpick, but I hate that "May, you work too much, and I know that you do that so I can be a stay-at-home dad, but I hate you for it! I'm not going to tell you this until after we separate and get cursed by a Mexican-Egyptian book!" Is something Cody gets to say and they expect us to sympathize with him.  In the end, me and my friend were begging this couple to divorce for ours and theirs sake, as well as the wellbeing of Rose (despite hating her, too). But of course they get back together, despite needling eachother for 12 hours and being horrible at communication. It's clear the creator has a very childish view of what divorce is and why people do it, and then wrote the story from the perspective of Rose, a sad, annoying child with good intentions, but no idea how to do or make anything worthwhile.