5/5 ★ – sirvalkyerie's review of ASTRO BOT.

Astro Bot is pretty much everything video gaming should be. And it's a great reminder amidst a sea of AAA/AAAA dreck, big budget flops, generic open world crap and AI-Generated Hero Shooter #5, that video games can be fun and whimsical. I wrestled a little with what to score this. 4, 4.5 or 5. I will push back on some of the most effusive praise that I don't think Astro Bot stands up to Super Mario Odyssey or Mario 64. But I do think it outpaces just about, if not actually, every non-Mario 3D platformer. It certainly is a new standard for Sony and vaults ahead of Rachet & Clank, Jak & Daxter, Spyro, Crash and Sly Cooper. I think it probably edges out Banjo-Kazooie and Tooie. It's probably even better than Super Mario Sunshine or the Super Mario Galaxies. But it doesn't "set the new standard for platforming" as some reviews have suggested. That's okay. We're talking about a regular contender for greatest game of all time in Mario 64 and a game that will certainly stand next to it, once nostalgia has had time to rosy it up, in Odyssey. That's not a ding. And I decided that setting that aside, Astro Bot is fully deserving of all other praise. The gameplay is very fun and very snappy. There's a delightful mix of speedy platforming gameplay with the slow and intentional gameplay that comes with exploration and collectibles, secret levels and easter eggs a plenty. While the game certainly plays fast, more on that later, there's multiple portions of the game that force you to slow down and spend a little more time. The worlds are varied and memorable with many different themes and gadgets such that few worlds feel repetitive. Astro Bot gets a whole bunch of little gadgets that are fun and creative. He becomes a sponge that has to suck up water and squeeze it back out to get through a level. Or a steel ball capable of withstanding bursts of fire and impervious to being crushed. He gets frogs for hands that beat the shit out of everything! How about a cymbal monkey on his back that stuns enemies. Or a chicken rocket that sends him blasting into the air. There's five or six more than these too, almost all of them popping up more than once throughout the game's levels. All operate differently and all force you to take on challenges a little differently, adding to each level's variety aside from their beautiful set designs. The gameplay is mostly standard fare but it is highly competent and very polished. Everything works like you'd think it would and it's just all so delightful. It doesn't set new standards but it executes on a wide variety of ideas, I think even outpacing the hat-mechanic in Odyssey. Each level is a joy. And it's not the gameplay that does it. Yes the gameplay is super fun. But the music is great. A fantastic soundtrack keeps you bopping your head and tapping your toes along while you run, jump and punch your way through very pretty levels. Filled with vibrant colors or interesting tech or callbacks to Sony hardware and software or even atmospheric and contemplative in a few moments. Every level is a aural and visual buffet, and the game is maximalist in every way for you to gorge yourself on all of this. You'll find yourself smiling at every new sound or giggle Astro Bot makes or at every new part of a level that does something so delightfully silly that it evokes something deep within your psyche. It's just a wonderful reminder of what it was like to be a kid playing games that were designed to trigger your dopamine receptors and that this was the heart of video gaming for quite some time. There are a few drawbacks. They're mostly quibbles. I didn't care for the similarity in the Horizon, God of War and Uncharted levels. Each one had a projectile weapon (throwing axe, bow, gun) that operated essentially the same and while there were callbacks to each game's specific mechanics, they really did feel too samey in that it boiled down to "aim ranged weapon and shoot." They were cool for the "ooh look that's Mimir!" easter-eggy Marvel-esque fandom triggering happy clap moments. But they were nowhere near as mechanically novel as the LocoRoco or Ape Escape levels. Seeing as Uncharted is often very platformer oriented to start with (running and leaping onto falling architecture or exploding buildings etc) I almost rather they would've subbed that one for some sort of rhythm game inspired by Parappa the Rapper or maybe a sidescroller level inspired by Crash or Rayman. Maybe an open world collectathon like Spyro or stealthy like The Last of Us. The three levels just felt a little redundant even though they were still fun and pretty. More of a missed opportunity than missed execution. The game does play fast. I found the speed of the game and just the 'loudness' of it all to at times be a little much. Almost every level is played for speed and it's a novelty when it isn't. All of the challenge levels rely on speed. And the game's music is so very loud while Astro Bot and all of the other characters are so very quiet. All of the characters are really slapstick and all of the colors are very vibrant. The game doesn't find enough moments to make it enjoyable to pause for a minute. There's nothing quite as interesting as New Donk City and almost none of the levels are as enjoyable to exist in as most of the Mario 64 paintings. My last complaint is even more minor than the previous but there really just is very little of substance to Astro Bot or the game's narrative. No, I don't need one for a game like this. But it's very barren. Asto Bot himself gets so little characterization, he's essentially just a blank slate to paint other Sony properties onto. Which is totally fine but there'll need to be something more substantial to him to make an Astro Bot sequel desirable. There's only so much value in another jaunt through all of the same Sony properties again. Sure a second game could have levels focused on the games they didn't focus on this time but the collectibles and the nature of the bots has to be different or it'll feel like a complete rehash. Astro Bot and the bots all have this little playful mischievness to them that reminds me a lot of the Despicable Me minions. And it is cute and enjoyable. But without any Gru or kids to center them, it's a little bit of slapstick goofiness simply for the sake of it which at times can almost seem a little meanspirited or harsh. And since the narrative is just that big, out-of-artstyle, alien stole your ship, there's really nothing that adds any depth to Astro Bot himself. That is fine. Particularly for the way this game is made and that it's our first real extended look at a goofy little guy invented to be a tech demo for the PS5. But I would really want to see them expand just a little bit on who Astro Bot is and make me care about Astro Bot for being Astro Bot and not simply reduce him to a meeping goofball that dresses up like the characters I actually do care about. This to me is what diminishes Astro Bot's value as a brand mascot compared to a Mario. If you were thinking of a Halloween costume, you might go as Mario. You wouldn't go as Astro Bot. But you might go as Astro Bot dressed up as Mario. Because they've just positioned the little guy to have no character of his own besides doing Fortnite emotes while dressed up as Kratos. In any case, I do want to stress those criticisms are small potatoes. Maybe it's why this doesn't dethrone Mario 64. But they're minor qualms with an otherwise great game. One that took me 20-30 hours to Platinum. One that I enjoyed every second of. One that I found suitably challenging without needing me to look up a guide for some of Odyssey's more opaque and obtuse moons. It was a great love letter to Sony gaming of decades goneby with even some love shown to flopped properties like Knack and Days Gone (that dev can go fuck himself for being bitter over this). It was great to revisit some classics that haven't received much love in recent times like Parappa or LocoRoco or Spyro. Hopefully this would inspire Sony to take better care of some of its first party IP (it won't). I look forward to whatever is next for Astro Bot, and if they do improve on this first outing you could well expect that the next iteration of our tiny metal friend may be the very best 3D platformer we've ever had.